Pressdog.com

Patriots Won. Get Over It.

By Bill Zahren
(Posted 02/05/02)

A surprise field goal? Whose idea? What the? Adam Vinatieri, I want to party with you, cowboy.

Born in tony Rapid City, South Dakota, South Dakota State University grad, little booty on his right leg -- striking. Adam was as cool as silk on a fall day as he drilled home a 48-yard field goal to upset the heavily favored St. Louis Rams.

St. Louis, I feel your pain. Blame it on the nickname. Any time your team gets some kind of nickname going, like the Rams’ “Greatest Show on Turf,” you’re cooked in the Super Bowl. About the only exception was the 1985 Chicago Bears.

It was a true testament to the '85 Bears' dominance that they could make that hideous Super Bowl Shuffle video and STILL win the actual game. The Bears mauled the Patriots 55 to something, if I remember. It was over at half time, anyway.

When talk surfaced of a making a Super Bowl Shuffle II this year, the Bears promptly lost their first playoff game to the Eagles.

Funny thing happened during the Greatest Show on Turf’s way to the Big Top this year. Turned out the Patriots weren’t clowns. I loved the Patriots from the second they were introduced en masse as a team, rather than as individuals. Great way to say, “there are no individuals on this team.” God, I love that.

It’s pretty large sacrifice, not being introduced individually in front of God and everyone at the game you play your entire life to get to. All the Patriots had friends and relatives in the crowd and back home, with fathers primed to shed manly tears as their sons were introduced.

The Patriots gave that up as a statement of unity. Of all sports, football is least about individuals. One guy can’t do much without the help of 21 other guys (it takes offense and defense to win).

Then, of course, the Patriots came out and just smacked the Rams. Opened serious whoopass all over the field. “Brought a load.” “Put the wood to them.” All that and a bag of chipped teeth. Every time a Ram got the ball, BAM, he got majorly popped by a Patriot.

Virtually every tackle included some kind of jarring hit. I have nothing against the Rams. In fact, I dig them for having two Iowa boys, QB Rock Star Kurt Warner (pride of Cedar Falls) and earth-moving guard Adam Timmerman (shout out to my Northwest Iowa homeys in Cherokee).

Kurt, especially, has doggedly refused to buy a huge, diamond-encrusted necklace and start talking about himself in the third person. Given all the mountainous praise and awards heaped on him, a lesser men would start thinking he's The Shit. But devout Christian Warner knows what he got came from somebody else, if you get my weeping-on-your-knees-in-church drift.

But the Patriots beat Kurt, Adam and the rest of the Rams, plain and simple. Brilliant tactical defense played with freakish physical abandoned and enough offense to stay in the game. Give them the trophy and shut up. They earned it.

But, of course, an underdog victory screws up the linear world’s sense of order (more reason to root for the underdog). It defies Conventional Thinking that you can’t win titles without having a HUGE Jordan-, Montana-, or Shaq-level star on your team.

Headlines since the Super Bowl have been versions of, “What Happened? Rams look for answers in wake of stunning loss.” (Des Moines Register, 02/05/02.) Insert quotes that are variations of, “We beat ourselves.” Yadda, yadda, yadda.

Here’s a tip: the Patriots beat ya. I watched the game. Ram receiver Ricky Proehl fumbled because some guy named Antwan Harris drilled him into next Tuesday. Kurt threw one interception because his receiver got his butt kicked on the line of scrimmage. He threw another — which Ty “Lay Down the” Law returned for a touchdown — because Kurt was getting smashed by Patriot household-name linebacker, Mike Vrabel as he threw.

Tough to say those turnovers had nothing to do with Patriot defense. While announcer John Madden was counseling the Patriots to take a knee and go to overtime with 1:17 remaining, quarterback Tom Brady drove the Patriots 48 yards to put Vinatieri in range. No playing for overtime today, Johnny.

So now everyone’s lamenting that star-less teams are winning Super Bowls. One columnist claimed there are no longer any standards for winning a Super Bowl. You know, as in you have to have great goaltending to win a Stanley Cup or you have to have two big stars to win an NBA championship. Whatever.

Here’s the only standard we need: You have to beat the other teams. This isn’t some college BCS crap where a computer or some coaches determine the top two teams. No, you gotta strap it up and earn it, Sparky. I got your BCS right here.

If this is the dreaded “parody,” I’ll take it. I love the NFL salary cap. It keeps teams from just going out and buying a championship (we'll leave that to baseball's Yankees). Teams now have to spread the wealth around and find players who commit to the team rather than themselves.

Besides, I’d much rather have Super Bowls determined on the last play of the game than go back to the era of disparity and 55-10 blow outs. U2 was brilliant at half time this year (raise your hand if you wiped a tear when Bono revealed The Jacket) but the game, for once, was better.

The Patriots won, fair and square. Underdogs around the world are howling with delight. There was no shame in losing to a team that played it's butt off. But, if the Rams and their fans want to know “what happened,” let’s just roll the tape.

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